Pre Tour of Alberta Thoughts

It's been a while since I've thrown something up here but I can't think of a better time to share my experiences as I am about to pin my numbers for the 2015 Tour of Alberta. There are a few thoughts bouncing around my brain at the moment that I thought would make for a good share.

Racing in a race of this caliber can be a little intimidating. This was my thought process walking into breakfast this morning:

Firstly, you know when Floyd Mayweather is training for a big fight, he gets those guys to come in and train with him so that he basically has a moving punching bag to train with? Earlier today, I felt like that guy. In walks a black and green punching bag with shaved legs and tight pants. AKA me. Then I was like, wait a second, that guy who I've watched race on TV all year also eats fruit loops and cookies. We could potentially be best friends. The more I thought about it, the more things I realized we had in common. He rides his bike every day. I RIDE MY BIKE EVERY DAY. He has to to do laundry. I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY. He probably craves weirder food then a women who is 8 months pregnant. I LOVE WEIRD FOOD. 

What makes those guys so special anyways? When you strip it all down, we are both here because we love riding bikes. Period. 

Secondly, this might be one of the coolest things I have done in my 25 years on earth. I've wanted to do this race for years now and I finally get to do it. Its comparable to the time I was 9 and my parents let me stay up till 10 on a thursday to watch Survivor. #REALDEAL. 

Thirdly (a little off topic I know but I feel as though it should be addressed), I feel like I am the kid that just transferred to a new school and have to make a great impression on everyone. I am petrified that I will do the equivalent of splitting my pants in two in front of the whole class. Im not sure what that would be on the bike... 

So, here we go. Here is to starting the coolest race I've ever done. To having fun racing the best guys in the world. To being the fastest punching bag I can be and to not splitting my shorts in front of everyone. Thanks for the cheers. 

Good Vibes Only

I’ve never understood the phrase “thank god it’s Friday!” Think about it, you spend 5 days of the week waiting for just 2. That means you’re wasting 5/7^th of your life in hopes that 2 days of the week will help you get through the other 5.  It took me a while to do the math but over one’s life, you spend about 68 600 hours at work (40 hour weeks, 49 weeks a year, 35 year career) THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH 68 600 hours!!!! That’s a lot of time to be grumpy if you hate what you do.

I recently took a trip to Bow Cycle in Calgary. Upon walking through the front door, I was greeted with some of the happiest people I have ever encountered. All employees were jovial and friendly and eager to help me out. I’m about 99% sure that if you were to ask the employees of Bow if they thought they were wasting 68 600 hours of their lives doing something they hate, the answer would be NOPE.

I came into cycling a little later in life and its stores like Bow Cycle that have allowed me to progress to where I am today. Friendly and passionate people that keep the gears going in a sport that can be at times quite difficult.

Buying or having work done on your bike should never be a stressful experience. Bow Cycle takes the top step when it comes to customer service and friendliness. Life is too short to stress about little things. Let the pros at Bow do what they do so that you can focus on the important things; ripping it on your bike.

Thanks to the whole crew at Bow, keep being awesome and making this sport just that much better.

First Last Day of School

Yesterday I tossed on my nicest button up shirt. I sharpened all 3 of my pencils, placed a PB and J sandwich in my bag and marched off to school with the largest grin on my face. Why was I so happy you ask? No, it wasn't because I was about to embark on a 3 hour trainer ride indoors. It was because yesterday marked my very last, first day of the semester. I walked through the hallways doing this:

Oh young Bailey.... how you should have known going to school was not simply going to take 4 years.  How was I suppose to know that the next 7 years of my life would be filled with 2 wheeled adventure and a butt load of spandex? How could I have predicted that I would meet my BFF's 4 life while chasing an illusive goal. If someone would have told me by the time I finished my degree I would also receive my first contract as a pro cyclist, I probably would have told them to lay off the special medicine.

My first class of the day was filled with young and excited students. All eager to jot down every single thing the teacher said. How did this make me feel? OLD. Really old. Oh to be young and take great notes. I remember those days....

I believe that I've learned many life lessons through my experience at University. Funny enough, it's not things I've read from a textbook. Heres a highlight reel.

Take 3 minutes at the start of every semester to figure out who you are going to sit beside. This could be the difference between a B and a B+.

Always bring extra gum to class. Those people that are going to help you always love a free piece of gum.

Always take time to exercise during the day. You'll feel better.

Always say yes to free food. Don't believe in the green peace club? You might be able to change your mind after 7 pieces of pizza.

BE NICE TO EVERYONE. No one likes a dink.

Don't ask too many questions in class. No body wants to be "that guy"

Ask yourself. "is this worth getting mad over?" the answer is usually:

I'm very excited to start the next chapter but the experiences I've had while riding my bike and finishing my degree is something I would't trade for the world. I just have to make it through 3 more classes.... 

Hang in there young pups. You have so much ahead of you. 

Bro, did you even lift during your undergrad?

If coming back to school has taught me anything, it's that:

1- I look old on campus 

2- The university weight room could be feature on National Geographic's matting with primates special

 3- School is really expensive. 

With that last point in mind, and seeing that I hope to become a pro cyclist, I'm going to have to come up with different ideas on how to make money. I've jotted down a few ideas that will put me on Forbes rich list by the time i'm 25 (wait thats next year.... maybe 30)

Bailey's top business ideas:

• Sell pumpkin spice lattes. Anywhere you find a mass of girls wearing yoga pants. It doesn't even have to be an actual pumpkin latte. Fill a cup of milk, put some orange dye in it, top it with whipped cream and sprinkle some cinnamon on top. Charge 5.99$. You will make a million before December comes around. 

• Bathing suits that double as halloween costumes. Nudity seems to be a trending fashion this halloween. Why not use that Mickey Mouse shirt as a swim top. 

• A massage chair that you set up just outside an exam room. Didn't have time to finish those last 25 questions? Let my massage chair put you in an extreme state of relaxation. Only 10 bucks a minute.

• A "health drink" that has some sort of berry in it you can't pronounce. "For an additional 4 bucks, this rare Puerto Rican ajiji pipi berry will boost the cellular expansion process in a chemical form of the lower intestine (throw in any type of bio word you can think of)". Cash or debit?

• A pill that eliminates sleep. This one isn't even funny. If someone invents this, I'll fund you, with the millions I made from selling lattes. 

• Start a University. Or a class that has 500 students paying upwards of 600 bucks to write 2 midterms and a final that can be marked by a computer. Offer no tutorials. Sit back and watch your bank account balloon with poor students' money as they try and fill useless credits with elective classes. 

In other news, I wrapped up another season on the bike and was in much need of some R and R. I was hoping the day wouldn't come where white fluff covered the ground but it finally arrived. I rolled over in bed this morning, looked out the window and did this for about 4 hours:

But hey, maybe I'll start this thing called "skiing" I think I'm saying it right? Apparently you just glide on snow for an extended period of time....

Some exciting news coming up. Check back in to see what it is, unless school has forced me into some deep coma, then I probably won't write anything for a while. 

The 8 Steps Of A True Bonk

I Bonked. There, I said it. I went for a bike ride and finished feeling like all happiness had been sucked from my soul. It happens to all of us at one point or another. You get all excited to push the limits of your body and come back only to realize that Netflix was invented to make sure no one EVER has to endure that type of torture. Seriously, what sounds better: 19 episodes of Community or finishing a 165km bike ride not knowing what country you started in or your middle name. After completing the Tour de Bloom a few weekends back and experiencing one of the worst mid race bonks I have ever had, I thought I would explain to you what truly happens during a bonk.

Stage 1: Its ok.

The race starts. You are happy, confident and full of hope and joy. There is nothing in the world that could be better. Your brain thinks you are going to win.

Stage 2: What did I have for diner?

10 km in and you realize that kale salad was probably not the best idea to have the night before a long road race. Maybe it won't be so bad? I did have a cinnamon bun for breakfast…

Stage 3: Something is off

Hmmmmm. I've only been riding for 45 minutes but I feel like having a nap. My legs aren't very interested in pushing down on pedals today. It's ok, ill ignore that, eat some power bars, and save the day.

Stage 4: The day won't be saved

Power bars have no effect on what is happening. You slowly start to acknowledge that today is about to turn into a long one. Kind of like when you jump out of the plane to start skydiving, except you forgot a parachute. Its a long way down and there isn't much you can do about it.

Stage 5: Rage Machine

Why am I here? Who invented this dumb sport? Silly hills, all like "sometimes I got up, sometime I go down". Hills are the worst. WHY IS THIS ROAD SO LONG!!!???? The only thing that should live out here is small rodents and Justin Bieber. I hate everything…..

Stage 6: Please pity me. 

Im just a poor cyclist and all I want to do is crawl into a McDonalds and order all of the fries. Why does't anyone understand how hard my life is? Would anyone even notice if I rode my bike deep into those woods, built a house of sticks and lived with my pet deer? Probably not. 

Stage 7: Light at the end of the tunnel 

It feels like you started the bike race about 3 millenniums ago. You can't remember what warmth or happiness feels like, but you start to realize that the end is near. A faint glimmer of hope creeps into your heart and there is now a small sliver of you that believes you are going to make it. You start feeling like E.T at the end of the movie. Riding your bike into the sky. Im coming home now. 

Stage 8: Its over

I cross the finish line and step off the bike. This is what astronauts feel like after months of space travel. My legs are shaking, I'm tired of eating food that comes in a bag, and all I really want to do is hug something. The comfort of another human being that understands what I just went through. 

There you have it. The steps of bonking. Its funny the things you go through just to finish a bike race isn't it? Now, as long as I learn from my mistakes and remember to never do that again…. Wait. Does anyone want to go for a big bike ride? Ill bring 10 jelly beans and see how far we can make it. 

Its been "0" days since the last Bonk in this work place

Redlands 2014

From an outside perspective, cycling seams to be a very simple sport. There’s a start line, hours of pushing down on pedals, then a finish line. First one to cross the line wins. Seems pretty simple doesn’t it? Its not.

I’ve come up with a points system that will help people understand the complex sport of cycling. It goes as followed:

 If you draft behind someone, you get 10 points. If you eat at the right time, 10 points (bonus points for caffeine boosts). If you avoid getting a puncture, 10 points. Dodged a crash? 20 points.  During the entirety of the race, all you have to do is slowly rack up points and by the time you get to the finish line, hope you’ve accumulated more points than any of the people around you.

Stage 1 of the Redlands Bicycle classic was the day where my points total reached an all time high. After attacking on the second lap, I rode off the front of the peloton by myself for what seemed to be an eternity. Three more riders eventually made their way across and we worked well to create a gap over the field. I knew that I had a good chance at grabbing some KOM points because the KOM line was atop a small but punchy climb. I managed to roll over in third during the first KOM sprint and first over the second one. This gave me a narrow but outright lead on the jersey.

I eventually lost touch with my breakaway companions with 3 laps left in the race but I knew that the day was a success. I rode in far behind the race winners but with probably the biggest smile one can have when finishing in 150^th place. I got to stand on a podium with a cool t shirt while people took my picture.

For years now, I’ve had a white board in my bedroom with goals I had hoped to accomplish throughout my cycling career.  Written in bold near the top of the list was to win a jersey at an NRC race. Although I would eventually lose the jersey on stage 3 (not from a lack of trying), it was nice to see some hard work pay off. None of this would have been possible without all the support I’ve received. Thank you Jet Fuel Norco Racing for the guest ride during the race. Thank you Trek Red Truck for helping me develop as a cyclist over the last 4 years. Thank you Bridge the Gap for investing in my future and last but not least, thanks to all of you that have encouraged me along the way. Words of encouragement can go a long way!

I'll Have a McChicken With a Side of Insulin Please

I've now spent just over 2 months taking in all the beauty the state of California has to offer. Amazing state parks with complex and adventurous trail systems, coastlines with amazing beaches and roads that can be ridden without ever seeing cars. Which stellar American characteristic has impressed me the most you ask? The fact that I can walk down the street with 3 dollars, pop by the gas station and get a gallon of beer and continue over to Mickey D's and purchase 2000 calories with my leftover change. I was going to go to the health food store and get an apple but why would I? For the same price I can get drunker then the homeless man on the corner and feel more full them Rob Ford at a Jamaican restaurant .

I received this in the mail this week:

And I thought to myself: WOW, this is a really good deal. Went for a ride and then I saw this

For those of you wondering, this is what you find in 20 nuggets. 

I like to think that I eat relatively well but I also indulge in my share of unhealthy treat food. I make an effort to make my own food and buy fresh ingredients. Hypothetically speaking, if I was on a tight budget and a working family man trying to feed my kids (like 75% of american families) and I came home from a long day in the office, what sounds more appealing? Buying a crap ton of veggies that I need to prepare and cook myself or sending Jimmy to the golden arches with 10 bucks and not having to cook OR do dishes. 

No wonder Canadian and American kids are getting fat! Why would any family put effort into eating well when eating food that clogs every artery is a fraction of the price. Want to cut the national health bill in half? Make asparagus and pineapples cheaper then a Big Mac meal or better yet, charge 50 bucks for 10 nuggets. 

That being said, I've eaten ample portions of greased goodies since I've arrived but if obesity levels are going to change I think we have to start taking a look at the availability and price of artery clogging food.

IN OTHER NEWS

Big time racing starts in t minus 5 days. Race reports and pictures to come but here are a few snaps of what I've been up to lately. 

I shook a Whiskas food pouch at him but he didn't move 

Hakuna Matata

Read about the team! Pick up Pedal mag

These things don't have brains but they can kill you. Fact

This thing does have a brain. It comes out the side of his head

Pebble beach winners. Happy Gilmore wasn't on the list. I checked 

FORRRRRREEEEE

The cat won't fall asleep even with the night-burglar head band. Damn

Its ok to eat the whole bag right?